[j:] hey kage
[j:] how goes it man?
[k:] s’good… s’good
[j:] y’know i been thinking a lot about it, and um, i just want us to be the
best f-cking band in the world.
[k:] well yeah me too!
[j:] there’s no point in doing it if we’re not the best.
[k:] well s’true. i agree with that.
[j:] i mean what, yeah we’re gonna be, yeah we’re really good. we’re like
almost as good as arcade fire, f-ck that.
[j:] we gotta leave those f-ckers in the dust!
[k:] what, what do you..
[j:] all those f-cking youngsters gotta lick our f-cking boot or f-ck it!
y’know what i mean?
[k:] yeah! yeah, well what, how do we do that though?
[j:] [sigh] dude you need to f-cking have some lessons.
[j:] i know, you’re really good but you gotta expand your game.
[j:] y’know how koby in the off season would go and like, learn a f-cking,
y’know a texas two-step or something, to add to his -rs-nal?
[k:] man, yeah, that’s true. that’s true.
[j:] well i’ve just been noticing some of your cl-ssic riffs are a little sloppy.
[j:] and i, i hope you’re not p-ssed off at me but i went ahead and hired a dude.
[k:] yeah? oh no, what!
[j:] dude, just give it a chance will you? if you don’t like- ah hey! i
swear, if you don’t like it we’ll f-cking fire his -ss. he’s out.
[k:] who is this guy? i never…
[j:] his name is felix char [?]
[k:] urgh, what.
[j:] he’s from spain and he is the best.
[k:] oh god…
[j:] i got him from the f-cking london phildsarmonic. (meant to be philharmonic)
[k:] urgh, i just, i don’t know him, it seems weird!
[j:] will you just, will you just spend a minute with him?
[k:] ok. alright. i’ll spend a minute with him.
[j:] ok bro, he’s right outside i’m sending him in.
[k:] oh god, ok. why? lessons, so stupid.
[k:] uh, hi!
[f:] h-llo, i am felix char.
[k:] hi, uh. felix? yeah, um.
[f:] ah, as, jack as asked me to spend some time with you. uh.
[k:] ok, hm.
[f:] one on one. so, while jack is outside, ah we will work on your technique.
[f:] can i see you pick up, is this your guitar here?
[k:] yup. yeah, i gotta it, i gotta it right over here.
[f:] ah, it is a fender ay? is this a fender?
[k:] ah well it’s a gibson.
[f:] yes a gibson, yes. made by the same, uh, manufacturer. pick it up please, can you pick it up?
[k:] ok. yeah.
[f:] no, no, no, d-d-d-d-d-d-d bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap!
[k:] what? what’d i do? what’d i do?
[f:] you pick it up from the neck! this is not the way you pick up a guitar!
[k:] i just picked it up, i just-
[f:] no,no, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, cã¡llate tu bocar, pick it up from the body.
[k:] the what!
[f:] the body.
[k:] oh the body! body, ok.
[f:] i’m sorry about my accent.
[k:] i didn’t know, i didn’t know.
[f:] now listen to me. i want you to play, like it is a woman. you go and play the guitar now. play.
[k:] uh, ok? uh.
[f:] no, no, no, no, no. you, your fingers. your fingers are too tight.
[k:] they’re too tight?
[f:] yes, let me get behind you. like this, you see?
[k:] oh! hn.
[f:] if i put my finger, on your finger.
[f:] then you can feel…
[k:] i can! wait!
[f:] sh, sh, sh, sh, shu! finger to your mouth. i put my finger on your mouth, on your lips.
[f:] yes that’s good.
[k:] hey man!
[f:] now listen hey, you want to play like an -rg-sm.
[k:] i’m just try- what!?
[f:] feel this. do you feel that?
[k:] oh god! this is really weird man!
[f:] that’s my c-ck.
[f:] that’s my c-ck in your b-tt cheeks.
[k:] oh god! hey!
[f:] do you feel it?
[f:] now i’m going to tough your c-ck.
[f:] let me touch your p-n-s.
[j:] it’s me!
[j:] it’s me. it’s jb.
[j:] there’s no felix dude.
[k:] what are you doing?!
[j:] i’m f-cking waking you up! i’m trying to shake your foundations!
[k:] by touching me with your p-n-s?!
[j:] yes! by f-cking touching your p-n-s! whatever it takes!
[j:] that’s all i’m saying dude! i’m making a point! let’s get f-cking
serious! let’s get physical! alright. let’s take it from the top.