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lirik lagu fat – ray stevens

my new driver’s license photo
makes me look like quasimoto
and all my clothes are styled for me
by minnesota fats

the diet drink i live on
soon may take the place of decon
heard it killed 8-million laboratory rats

every night i dream of ding dongs
that are big enough for king kong
and someday i may just be that big myself.

stepped on the scales, put in a dime
card came out, said “one at a time”
i tell ya friends, i really need some help

[chorus]
cause i’m fat
i feel so fat
the bottoms of my feet
are the only parts of me that’s flat
in a society where thin is in
and lean is where it’s at
fat. oh, hoo, hoo oo… why do i have to be so fat?
you’re so fat [background voices]

started workouts with jane fonda
when i couldn’t get in my honda
i’s determined i’d turn all my flab to lean

i would hear of some new diet
and i’d run right out and try it
didn’t eat a thing for weeks that wasn’t green.

every week down at the fat club
i would proudly stand up
tell my weight loss, and give my testimony

lost 50 pounds, i’s feeling great
just had one drink to celebrate
and went right out and ate
a french-fried shetland pony

[chorus]

[begin standup comedy]:

somebody put a b-mber sticker on my car
said honk if you’ve got groceries

i’s just standing on a corner
and a cop came over, and asked me to break it up

evel knievel called
wants to jump me

earl sheib wouln’t paint me
for eighty-nine ninety-five

good year called
wants me to join the fleet
cover the next superbowl

all the chairs in my house got seatbelts

- ray stevens

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