lirik lagu history lesson – stephen lynch
stephen:
i have to redo the vocals for medieval bush.
friends:
why?
stephen:
cause i said 1570’s m-ff instead of 1470’s m-ff and the medieval period ended at the beginning of the 16th century.
friends:
wait! so how do you know this?
stephen:
cause i used to be a teacher.
friends:
(laugh)you used to be a teacher?
stephen:
yes
friend:
professor?
stephen:
no, i taught elementary school and i got fired for i had an unorthodox way of teaching. in which i would bring my guitar in and sing the lessons to the kids.
friend:
of course you did.
stephen:
okay, okay let me find a lesson for you… ben franklin
“ben franklin went out one night,
tied a key to the end of a kite,
electricity struck so bright,
write it down m-th-f-ckas”
friends:
you called the kids motherf-ckers?
stephen:
some of them were motherf-ckers yes.
friends:
science
stephen:
um…
“issac newton sat under a tree,
an apple hit him in the head so he,
said holy sh-t that’s gravity,
so write it down m-th-f-ckas”
i have a million of theses.
friends:
pilgrims
stephen:
okay… hey…
“pilgrims raced against the clock,
lookin for a place to dock,
they said f-ck it here’s plymouth rock,
write it down m-th-f-ckas.”
friends:
i don’t like the fact that you are implying that the pilgrims were lazy.
stephen:
i’m not implying anything.
friend:
wright brothers
stephen:
uh…
“a dude named orville wright,
told his brother lets invinflight,
so wilbur said “ight”,
write it down m-th-f-ckas”
yes, he said “ight”
friend:
wilbur said “ight”?
stephen:
in my story he did.
friend:
wilbur was street in your story?
stephen:
yes
friend:
word
stephen:
see, you can’t stump me
friend:
slavery?
stephen:
uh there is nothing funny about slavery… well…
“abe lincoln lead the nation,
freed slaves form the plantations,
inmansa-m-th-f-cka-proclamation,
write it down anaem-ops.”
friend:
gandhi!
stephen:
uh… i did not have one for him. uh… hold on, hold on. gandhi… uh… alright.
(slowly) “gandhi is what you said,
an indian with a bald head,
he was a bit under fed,
write is down m-th-f-ckas!”
fried from that job!
friend:
your a genius.
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