well, here we are. the four of us…
in total shock… me and her.
i closed my mouth and swallowed spit,
and i’m thinking to myself, “this is some deep sh-t!”
and i said “so you’re gonna tell me he’s the one he’s been talking to?”
he says, “yes”, i say, “no”, he says, “yes”, i say, “no”, he says, “it’s the truth!”
i said, “all of you all -ss is crazy, let me up out this door,
because this is way more than i bargained for”
and then she says, “wait, i’m sure we can all fix this”
then i said, “i’m late, plus i ain’t gotta d-mn thing to do with this!”
but then she said, “wouldn’t you just like to know how it all began?”
then i thought to myself, and said, ‘quick, you got three minutes’
then it got real quiet, i said, “somebody start talking”
she said, “my god, rufus! i’ve got just one question,
how could you do something like this? i’m so hurt!”
he looked at her and said, “b-tch please, you’ve got your nerves
with all your club hoppin’, lyin’, saying you was shoppin’.
and now here you are in our home, and you’re callin’ me wrong.”
she said, “okay, you busted me! and that much i agree, you caught me cheating!
but this is a little extreme!”
he said, “you are my wife sleeping behind my back.
and now i come home and you got him in the closet, how extreme is that?!”
and she said, “but she’s a he!”
and he said, “please, you can’t judge me”
she said, “rufus this is crazy!”
and i said, “stop arguing!
i did not stay here to hear you chew each other out,
so get to the point, or i swear i’m out!”
“excuse me, please, but i think i can explain what’s going on in here.
my name is chuck and i been knowing rufus about a year,
at midnight creeping around with him has been a living h-ll, sneaking in and out of hotels…”
i said, “brother, spare the details!”
then rufus said, “chuck, please! don’t say nothing else!”
then she screams, “rufus you son of a b-tch,”
he says, “cathy, go to h-ll!”
i said, “i thought you said your name was mary, that what you said at the party.
man this is getting scary i’m gonna shoot somebody!”
then rufus start yelling and screaming saying, “cathy, this is all your fault!”
she throws a pillow at him and says, “you were creeping too, the only difference is you didn’t get caught!”
chuck screamed out, “we’re in love!”
cathy says, “love my -ss!”
rufus said they’re getting married then i shoot one in the air!
i said, “not another one of you sons of b-tches say a word!
cause all this sh-t i’m goin through is unheard!”
i grabbed my cellular
i said, “this is so wrong,”
i call up my home,
and a man picks up the phone phone phone phone…..