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borrowed time - cusax lyrics

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[verse 1]
cut the bullsh*t
i got more lines i gotta say
before i’m cut from all this
on borrowed time i know
i’m bound to fall just hit the ground and
i build my life around it
i’d k!ll to write about this
so i’m k!lling my persona that i put on to push the boundaries

i’d chill the wrong crowd
end up on a walk down
all the wrong roads
end up in a long doubt

am i really good
am i even worth it?
not talkin rap
i’m talkin as a person

i sought validation
so i set a basis:
imma make ’em laugh even if i gotta say sh*t
that’ll put me in a chokehold later on in life
alright imma just say sh*t
so i went and met some new folks ’cause
i just felt so lost when sh*t broke up
‘tween me, all the people i spoke of
yeah you get the gist it was no good

i just needed crowds of new people
even if those ‘people’ were evil
i didn’t care, i need to be equal
with the self that i could just dream of

it might sound dramatic
you’d call me an addict
but i got some sh*t that went down and i hadn’t
completely thought about sh*t comin out of my mouth
and its always impacted the day that i’m having
i went to the movies and i couldn’t stop thinking
what would be happening if all i’ve said in the moment
to please them would leak out and id be perceived as a demon
i’m scared

[chorus]
praying that you listen
so much you’ve been missing
i just need your faith right now

i’m not even perfect
but i know i’m worth it
but if i’m about to break down
hold on my ambitions
even if i’m stricken
i just take the long way round

living as i learn this
i might not deserve this
i’m on borrowed time right now

[verse 2]
eventually my circle shrank
yeo is all that remains
we cultivated us a way that wed talk
and in retrospect i know that i couldn’t be sane

but over time i was more self aware and by now i can tell you
i’m back in that chair after falling right off of the rocker
i’ve talked through with embis
and i don’t know just what to think

got to the point where i disassociate
me from the man that i was, can’t overstate
what kind of change in my mental overcame
still i’m afraid, what if all my works in vain?

all of my work that i made gets washed away
call it a curse from an age i walked away
following me from a distance off a ways
behind me so i’m sure i’ll see the day
i was a f*ckin incompetent child
who wanted to please everybody
in school its the same in that too
i was tryna be different
’cause i thought that sh*t made me cool

habitual talkin sh*t b*tch, like a ritual
sayin sh*t so out of pocket and miserable
’cause i assumed it was chalked as dismissible
’cause of the fact i knew i didn’t think it true

shady was doin it
kanye was doing it
all who i knew growing up all went through with it
all except one and i feel so stupid and
sh*t would’ve panned out so different, knew that it would

too late for that
but i’m still here takin’ you listening back
to that time where i’d rap about what i’d want
but now i rap about what i’ve done and i’m cleansed

[chorus]
praying that you listen
so much you’ve been missing
i just need your faith right now

i’m not even perfect
but i know i’m worth it
but if i’m about to break down

hold on my ambitions
even if i’m stricken
i just take the long way round

living as i learn this
i might not deserve this
i’m on borrowed time right now

- cusax lyrics

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