spike in girlie voice: how can i thank you, you mysterious black
clad hunk of a knight thing.
spike in cheesy man voice: no need little lady. your tears of
grat-tude are enough for me. you see i was once a bad-ss vampire,
but love and a pesky curse defanged me. and now i’m just a big
fluffy puppy with bad teeth. no! not the hair, never the hair.
spike in girlie voice: but there must be some way i can show my
spike in cheesy man voice: no! helping those in need’s my job.
and working up a load of s-xual tension and prancing away like
a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough.
spike in girlie voice: i understand i have a nephew who’s gay…..so…
spike in cheesy man voice: say no more! evil’s still afoot. and
i’m almost out of the nancy boy hair gel i like so much.
quickly! to the angel mobile away!
oz: h-llo l.a.
cordelia: oz? o my god…oz! i am so happy to see you!
good ‘ol oz…oz! oz!
doyle: lemme just take a stab at it…you’d be oz?
oz: good guess.
cordelia: this is so cool…i mean here you are, in l.a. and you’re
the total embodiment of all things sunnydale.
oz: well it’s a burden, but i manage.
cordelia: ok! we have serious catching up to do. how’s everything?
how’s, how’s the bronze?
oz: the same
cordelia: and the gang?
oz: their good.
cordelia: good, good!….good!
oz: we done?
cordelia: i’ve heard…but i doubt very much…that the main
characters are betty and barney rubble, as you so vehemently
insisted last night. also i don’t think oz appreciated being called
my little bam bam all night.
spike: cordelia…you look smashing….
cordelia: yes! you know there’s this great gym on….hey!
cordelia: spike’s nearly done buffy in a few times. i mention he has
killed two slayers already?
doyle: you did.
cordelia: oh! and this one time he and dru raised this demon that
burned people alive from the inside. it was this whole weird thing
with an arm in a box,
doyle: an arm in a box?
doyle: it’s close enough dimwit.
spike: what is it with you good guys runnin’ in packs? who’s this one
doyle: more than meets the eye, blondie. where’s angel?
spike: um… tall brooding guy? caveman brow? he’s having
the living h-ll tortured out of him.
cordelia: i don’t trust you.
spike: a coin of popular sunnydale phrase…duh!
spike: and suddenly i’m so painfully bored! in one piece was
never part of the deal.
spike: lucy, i’m home….bl–dy h-ll.
spike: son of a b-tch! i do the work, i do the digging, fight off
the slayer, drive to l.a. i hire the help. and what do i get?
bl–dy screwed is what! well, that cinches it! no more partners.
from now on…i’m my own man! lone wolf…soul survivor…here,
look out! here comes spike…the biggest baddest mother….moan
-sound of fire-…..i really hope they kill each other…
oz: incredibly pale. i’m just very pail…i’m paler than most people…
angel: i don’t know about you, but i had a nice day.
you know except for the fact that i was nearly tortured to death.
doyle: but you stood up…
angel: o god…i was this close to telling them everything.
i mean one more hot poker and i was giving them the ring…
your mom everything. how is your mom?