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lirik lagu 14. the samurai always wins – matthew taranto (triforcebun)

cody: [sung]
when the moon is bright with a pale, blue light
and trouble is nearby
only one man fights for what is right:
the steel samurai!
and all heroes know when it’s time to go
and face their destined fate!
for who should show, but his deadly foe
the evil magistrate!
i saw it with my own two eyes, and it was really great!

phoenix: i’m to understand that you’re a big samurai fan
you watch the show every week
now you have a hand in being a hero to this man
the truth is the only thing i seek

cody: with a samurai punch and a samurai slash
that battle had caused a deafening crash!
he dodged a strike with a samurai dash
the villain paid for his sins!
with a samurai slap and a samurai chop
that samurai pain just never stopped!
he came on top while the magistrate dropped
’cause the samurai always wins!

edgeworth: wright! the truth is, this fragile youth is
sure of that ruthless attack!
so, stop pressing him
hoping that he’ll crack!

phoenix: i’m trying to keep the steel samurai out of jail…
please, if you could, try to go into more detail

cody (phoenix): what i saw that day was a grim display-
an evil man’s demise. (uh-oh.)
and i stood nearby when the samurai
shot lasers from his eyes! (wait, what?)
and he flew up high, reaching to the sky
a bright metallic sheen!
the hero chose to strike a pose
and then he flew the scene!
it was just like in episode two-hundred seventeen!

phoenix: [spoken] objection!
cody, what sort of murderer uses a “samurai slap!?”
or for that matter, shoots lasers from his eyes?

edgeworth: objection!
clearly, the witness merely has an active imagination–

phoenix: objection!
you know as well as i do that the witness is being vague!
he still hasn’t testified to seeing the finishing stab
and i think i know why…
[sung]
cody, you have shown you’ve got a camera of your own
you never miss any shots
if you could just show a picture of the k!lling blow
it could help us connect the dots…

’cause you keep all pictures in an alb-m t-tled “path to glory.”
with the k!lling blow from every show to tell a hero’s story!
and i’ll tell you this, something is amiss
for there’s no reason or rhyme…
and for what it’s worth, no way on earth
did cody see this crime!
witness, testify!
this is the last time!

judge: [spoken] mr wright, what is the meaning of this?

—————
[simultaneous]
cody:
with a samurai kick and a samurai punch
and a samurai triple-suplex-crunch
the samurai flipped and spun a bunch–
he’d win no matter the cost!
with a samurai chop and a samurai slap
the magistrate felt a sickening snap
and he was about to take a dirt nap
’cause the samurai’s never lost!

phoenix:
please, no more lies
i have tried to use a light touch
i’m trying to preserve the
show that you love so much

—————
cody:
with a samurai dodge and a samurai block
and a samurai ultra-tough-headlock
the poor magistrate could only gawk
for he had no help from his friends
the samurai said, “winners don’t do drugs!”
as he wiped out waves of the magistrate’s thugs
up against his power, they were just like bugs
his offence was so intense!

phoenix:
don’t be alarmed, for no
harm will come to this man
listen to me, he’ll walk free
thanks to one true fan

edgeworth:
wright, you dunce, stop this at once
you’re badgering a child–i won’t allow it!
cease these accusations please
this questioning is wild!

—————
cody:
and he did it all while saving a village of nuns
from a hundred-foot monster weighing in at 50 tons
and breath with the heat of a thousand blue suns
and a gun that fires sharks!
and a mile-high volcano was erupting in the east
and the samurai plugged it with the 50-ton beast
then he fed the starving children with the newly-founded feast
and he cleaned our national parks!

phoenix:
cody, calm down
take it easy if you know how
cody, relax
i need facts and i need them now

edgeworth:
wright, you fool, this kid’s in school
you treat him like a thug–have you no mercy?
stop wasting this courtroom’s time
and quit acting so smug

will:
i don’t mind
if i’m jailed downtown
i just don’t want to
let all the kiddies down

—————
cody:
with a samurai parry and a samurai guard
the magistrate shivered, all beaten and scarred
the steel samurai kicked his b-tt so hard
it left permanent footprints!
with the samurai spear gleaming in the sun
his samurai battle almost done
he had his fun and had finally won

phoenix:
please, tell the truth
this is just a fict-tious tale–objection!
i’m trying to keep
the steel samurai out of jail

edgeworth:
wright, don’t bluff, that’s quite enough
now cease this reprimand–objection!
a small child alone in court
you cannot understand!

will:
if i go
promise me one thing:
no kids know
’bout this merciless k!lling…

judge:
calm yourself, mr. wright
i don’t want to see a fight!
please one person at a time
we can figure out this crime!
overruled, overruled!
who do you think you have fooled?
we are done, everyone!

—————
cody:
‘cause the samurai always wins!

judge:
order! order!

- matthew taranto triforcebun

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