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mentally !m a w!ndows error sound - phoenix-fj lyrics

[verse 1]
3 a.m., ceiling fan confessionals
static in my head, yeah it never shuts its mouth
i wear my jokes like armor, patches peeling off
smiling for the photos while i’m bleeding through the thoughts

i learned how to disappear in crowded rooms
turn my pulse into a rumor, call it “cool”
every promise tastes like metal on my tongue
i swear i’m fine, i swear i’m fine, i swear i’m—

[pre*chorus]
counting breaths like broken beads
trying not to sink too deep
i keep secrets under long sleeves
praying someone sees me

[chorus]
i’m not trying to die, i’m just trying to feel
something rеal in a world made of steel
i chase chemical couragе, it fades by the dawn
leaves me worse than before when the feeling is gone
if i’m screaming in silence, please hear me somehow
i don’t wanna be saved, i just don’t wanna drown

[verse 2]
neon nights and powdered promises
borrowed confidence, i’m spending all my future on it
mirror talks get violent in my head
picking at the parts of me i wish i could forget
i trace my past in invisible ink
every mistake stains deeper when i blink
i keep dancing on the edge of “okay”
one bad night from throwing it all away

[pre*chorus]
heartbeat doing double time
living just to hit rewind
i keep swearing i’ll be fine
but fine’s just another lie

[chorus]
i’m not trying to die, i’m just trying to feel
something real in a world made of steel
i chase chemical courage, it fades by the dawn
leaves me worse than before when the feeling is gone
if i’m screaming in silence, please hear me somehow
i don’t wanna be saved, i just don’t wanna drown

[bridge]
maybe hope is a match in the rain
but it still sparks if you shelter the flame
if i’m honest for once, if i let myself say it
i’m tired of hurting just to prove that i made it

so if tomorrow finds me shaking but here
that’s a win, that’s a breath, that’s a year
i don’t need a miracle, just a hand
to remind me i’m more than the damage i am
[outro / final chorus]
i’m still here, yeah, barely but true
learning how to stay when my instincts say “move”
if you’re hearing this and it sounds like you too
you’re not weak for surviving what you’ve been through
we’re not broken beyond repair somehow
we don’t wanna be ghosts
we just don’t wanna drown

- phoenix fj lyrics

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