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lirik lagu stitches parody – bart baker

i am pretty and 17
i have no clue what heartbreak even means
but i made this song about it
after my girl dumped me that cold hearted witch
what was that?
it felt like i just got punched
you’re ex-girlfriend sent me to kick your b-tt!
she said make sure he needs to get st-tched up
that hurts!
she took this song too literally
i meant st-tches metaphorically
wasn’t it enough that she left me?
now she wants me to bleed
who is that hitting me?
here’s a clue
i say ‘you can’t see me!’
i wrestle men in big arenas
um are you john cena?
yep!
what did i do to deserve this?
on her birthday you got her nothing you d-ck
instead you got yourself this car
i needed to look more bad-ss
and that’s why i’m kickin’ your -ss
someone save me from this wrestle dude!
now you’ll learn the power for the dark side
don’t tell me my ex also sent you
that’s right
remember
on this past christmas day
you got her nothing you must pay
instead you got that dumb jacket
hey i look bad-ss in it
how dare you be so selfish!
ouch! stop that!
she was being a b-tch
you see the power of the force now
who’s poking my -ss? ow!
twas me harry potter
your ex girlfriend is my witch daughter
i’m gonna take my broom from quidditch
and beat your b-tt with it
valentine’s days’ coming
got to turn this pain to loving
this brutal violence is senseless
i must save shawn mendes

- bart baker

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