lirik lagu hammered – the jibster
[intro]
la la la la (hic) la la la la la
la la la la (hic) la la la la la
la la la la (hic) la la la la la
la la la la (hic) la la la la la
[verse 1]
i was laying in bed
with a beer bottle in my hand
i’m almost 21
so i’m close enough to be the man
but i’m still in bed
looking so p-ssed out
i don’t know what happened
but i think i g-ssed out -fart sounds-
i had a dream
about these pretty s-xy girls
i stick my hand up one of their -sses
and pull out some pearls
but they were covered in sh-t
so i started to hurl
because it was sh-tty
and she had too much fur
i’m not a geek
and i’m not weak
but can i use my hands
to squeeze your -ss cheeks
i wear the gl-sses
and don’t drink mol-sses
but instead i love
looking at girl’s -sses
[hook]
i’m so hammered
that i wanna slam her
i’m always hammered
when i f-ck her like a mammal
please don’t get hammered
when you start to d-mn her
you do stupid sh-t
so let’s pop that s-xy zit
[verse 2]
i brought with me
another beer bottle
i got in my truck
and start to pull the throttle
yes i’m driving drunk
oops i think i ran over a skunk -splat sounds-
oh sh-t they’re’s cops
trying to pull me over
to make me stop
but i don’t care if i pop
their tires with a spinning top
it was embarr-ssing to them
cause they were on their block
and now my mouth stinks
cause i sucked on a stinky sock
[hook]
i’m so hammered
that i wanna slam her
i’m always hammered
when i f-ck her like a mammal
please don’t get hammered
when you start to d-mn her
you do stupid sh-t
so let’s pop that s-xy zit
[verse 3]
i have a pet cat
but i want to knit her
i never knew that that will make her bitter
maybe i should tweet this
next time i’m on twitter
cause i’m so drunk
i don’t know what i’m doing
spend the last time at the nursing home
on a sink and when i start pooing
i love food but my favorite thing
is to start beef stewing
what the f-ck is wrong with me
when i start to jerk
just let me be
i need privacy
cause when you walk in on me
i start to cry
you see
so ha ha ha
let me jerk off to this picture
and close the f-cking door
cause man don’t i love these wh0r-
now i hope you learn from this
that getting drunk
can make you drive fast in a mist
and you get all h-rny over girls
and you just want to reach in her p-ssy
to stir
and you act all lovable
and always tell the truth
but never think to f-ck that dead baseball player
baby ruth
so never get in a habit of drinking
whew
geez what’s that
smell no more stinking
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