trapped in the closet (chapter 14)
a car pulls up to a restaurant
the door opens and someone gets out
first thing you see is some heels and a dress
black shades on scarf around her head and mouth
who could it be? why are they here?
up the stairs they’re goin’
through the door, down the aisle
like she’s walkin’ in slow motion
checkin’ out the place
and she walks lookin’ real cool
peepin’ out through her gl-sses
before she sits in the booth
she goes in her purse; pull a cigarette out
puts it in her mouth; he lights it
then she blows smoke, pause for a minute
and says, “what the h-ll happened?!”
“first of all, woman, keep your voice down.
i ain’t tryin’ to get loud up in here.
second of all, how was i ‘posed to know
that your husband was a f-ckin’ queer?”
“shh!” the waitress walks by
she says, “i’ll be with y’all in a minute.”
“now, we made a deal. the plan was for me
to come home with you. girl, i did my part.
so don’t you go askin’ me what the h-ll happened
when i didn’t wanna do this sh-t from the start.”
and then she said, “yeah, right.
you didn’t wanna do this sh-t, but yo -ss got paid.”
and then she said, “sylvester–” i said, “hold up, b-tch.
are you crazy? don’t be sayin’ my name.”
she said, “whatever. how come you didn’t tell me
you was married to gwen?”
“first of all, between the fake wigs and fake names,
how the h-ll i’m supposed to know that gwen is yo friend, b-tch?”
“shh! here comes the waitress again.”
“sorry i kept y’all waiting.
child, this place is busy.
it’s always crowded about this time.
can i start y’all off with something to drink?”
i said, “i’ll just have a coffee
with two sugars, light on the cream.”
she said, “vodka, straight up.
h-ll…sh-t, i need a drink.”
then the waitress said, “girl, i heard that.
i’ll be right back with your drinks.”
and then she walks away ; i look back at her
and says, “she looked familiar to me…”
then she says, “what?” i say,
“nothin’. it’s just a thought.
anyway, girl, i thought the plan was for me
to be in that house with you and get caught?”
she says, “it was.” i said, “what ha–?”
she said, “i changed my mind.”
i blew smoke, then i put my cigar out
said, “i’m out this motherf-cker, ’cause you wastin’ my time.”
she says, “wait, don’t go.”
“well, then, god-d-mn it, talk to me.”
she says, “you wouldn’t understand…” [starts crying]
“try me.” she blows her nose and says,
“well, it all started one night
when i was sittin’ in the livin’ room,
and sounds like i could hear somebody
in the bedroom, moanin’ and groanin’,
and i knew it wasn’t me,
so my curiosity
led me to believe
that he was cheatin’ on me.”
“well, how come you just didn’t ask him?
give him the benefit of the doubt?”
“because a woman knows.
a woman just knows when some sh-t is foul.”
and then i said, “calm down.
here comes the waitress.”
“mmm, like i said, it’s busy around this time,
but thank y’all for bein’ patient.”
said, “can i get y’all anything else?”
i said, “no, that’ll be all.”
then cathy says, “sylvester–” he says, “hold on,”
’cause he’s gettin’ another phone call
it’s twan sayin, “everything a’ight?”
then sylvester says, “we workin’ it out.”
then twan says, “well, call me if you need me, dawg.
you know i’m holdin’ you down.” and i said,”no doubt.”
i hang up, then cathy says,
“well, lemme get back to tellin’ you what went wrong.
where was i? oh, yeah,
the day i heard him arguing on the phone.”
now the story goes on and on
and she tellin’ him everything that happened
while twan’s outside in the car
radio on, boppin’ his head, just rappin’
sylvester said, “girl, are you sayin’ he was havin’ s-x
with another man on the phone?”
she says, “yes.” i say, “i can’t talk about this.”
she says, “why?” i say, “’cause this sh-t is getting uncomfortable.”
now, back to twan; he turns the radio down
’cause he gets a call
he says, “yeah, what up?” and a voice says,”yo, g,
i got that information on tina.” he says, “talk to me, dawg.”
“well, the word out on the street is the b-tch has stopped hoein’;
doin’ head outta her mama’s bas-m-nt and got a job.” [chuckles]
“ha-ha is right. the day that b-tch stop hoein’
is the day they stop sellin’ dots. (“heh-heh.”)
you feel me, joe?” “word.”
“where the b-tch work at, a candy store?”
“naw, the job that she got’s supposed to be legit.
i heard your girl all found some ol’ waitress sh-t.”
“yeah? waitress, where?” “hold on, i’m waitin’ on my people to hit me;
roxanne and t own the place.” “you sh-ttin’ me.
where this place at?” he says, “hold up,
i’m gettin’ a phone call.”
now, meanwhile, sylvester’s askin’ cathy,
“well, why you still love him?”
then cathy says, “when i saw chuck,
i just couldn’t lose him to him.”
and then the waitress comes again
but this time she brings the bill
slides her a $50, says, “keep the change.”
she says, “d-mn, thanks. sh-t, y’all, keep it real.”
and meanwhile, outside in the car,
twan’s getting impatient; his homie comes back to the phone
twan says, “do i look like en vogue?
he says, “why?” says, “n-gg-, ’cause the way you got me holdin’ on.”
“i gotcha, dawg. i got where the b-tch work, live, information and all.”
“yeah. n-gg-, i’m listenin’.” “well, n-gg-, first of all,
you gotta keep me down, ’cause i went through a lotta crazy sh-t to find her.” “yeah, whatever, i got you.”
“moved in with some n-gg- in the jeffrey manor,
it’s ’round the corner, it’s a place called shay-shay’s diner.”
“n-gg-, you forget i just did three years.
i need the exact address to where this place is.”
“my bad, you right, kid. 9501, that’s right off hallstid.”
pause it right there
now shoot back into the restaurant real quick
sylvester looks up at the waitress and says,
“excuse me, but it seems like i know you.”
and at the same time, twan’s in the car, going,
“man, this address sounds familiar…”
meanwhile, in the restaurant, the waitress blows a bubble and says,
“where you know me from?”
twan’s homie gives him the name of the place again
he looks up at the sign and says, “what the f-ck…?”
and meanwhile, back in the restaurant,
cathy’s nudgin’ me under the table, goin’, “sylvester…”
and sylvester looks at the name tag on her shirt
and noticed that sh-t says, “tina”
then, the waitress starts backin’ up
with this confused look on her face
while twan’s outside on the phone, tellin’ his homie,
“man, i’m right outside of the f-ckin’ place!”
then sylvester says, “hold up.
i just wanna talk to you for a minute.”
then she starts screamin’ roxanne’s name real loud (roxanne! roxanne!)
this b-tch comes runnin’ from the back with a skillet
then tina breaks a beer bottle on the table
and says, “n-gg-, i will cut you with this gl-ss!”
cathy walks by me, goin’ out the door, sayin’,
“not tryin’ to get loud in here, my -ss!”
tina starts warmin’ around sylvester, sayin’,
“we take tae bo cl-sses!”
then twan runs up in the place and says,
“i will kill both of y’all knucklehead -sses!”