nothing is decided by us - aleksejs macions lyrics
it’s a sign of weakness, they said, to show your face: “too pale, too tired, too human.”
my mind is racing, looping like a broken wheel… do they hate me?
every glance feels like a weapon; every word, a cold dissection. i try to walk through the crowd unseen, but i am simply raw meat on a butcher’s hook, spinning slowly under the fluorescent lights
and then i see her. she laughs, and i think it’s a kindness, but she looks away too quickly. my fists tighten; the world sharpens into jagged edges. pull her hair, i think, rip the scalp off, strip the mask, and see if what’s underneath is as hollow as what i feel
but the moment passes, like all moments do. my pulse somehow slows, the crowd swallows me whole again. i have no mouth. i want to scream. i can’t. i want to decide something, anything, but the choices aren’t mine to make
don’t you see?
nothing is decided by us, in this modern world
it’s a strong bond to appearances
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