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alastor season 1 recap song - amir talai lyrics

[spoken]
oh h*llo! welcome back!
it’s been quite a minute hasn’t it?
now… we all know a lot
happened in the past
and i’m sure your
feeble little minds
could use a little refresher. yes?
well allow me to do the honors

[verse 1]
before we go forward
let’s rewind
to when lu & lilith
d*mned mankind
gave eve a red delicious
heaven’s rage was vicious
now let’s skip a page or three or four
to be more expeditious

[verse 2]
charlie morningstar, lucifer’s daughter
had a little plan to save the d*mned from the slaughter
made a hotel for the people of h*ll
to come and redeem themselves
and well…
heaven’s general, adam from the garden
loved k!lling sinners, wouldn’t grant them a pardon
he sealed their fate and moved up the date
of the next extermination, which was less than great for
[verse 3]
our girl charlie
so desperate to show
sinners could learn to repent
do good deeds and grow
she sang some malarkey
forgiving a spy
and yours truly fed
a tv head
a slice of humble pie

[verse 4]
then i
went to a meeting with carmilla
the top*shelf overlord
weapons dealer
velvette pressed her to reveal
she’d k!lled an angel with angelic steel
now angel did a saucy dance
a tragic victim of circumstance
he and husk had a heart*to*heart
did anyone actually like this part?

[verse 5]
our girl charlie
called her absent pops
that corny mother*ducking king
pulled out all the stops
mimzy barged in
and no one liked that
and me and husker had ourselves
a friendly little chat
[verse 6]
then charlie went to heaven
where she wasn’t fully welcome
tried to tell them about
the progress she had made
the council meeting looked down upon the merry band
of angel, pen, and cherri and…
(suck it b*tches)
determined they were vermin
who deserves to meet the blade
em and sera had a fight
buried secrets came to light
vaggie fought for those above
she fell in grace and fell in love

[verse 7]
our girl charlie
was in quite a bind
i took pity
brought her around
to rosie’s to find
her cannibal army
they lent her an ear
carmilla taught old vaggie how to
handle her spear
[verse 8]
the day arrived of the
dreaded exorcism
pentious died of
attempted heroism
i got a little hurt
we put adam in the dirt
(f*cking losers!)
niffy scored the final blow
though i did almost all the work

[verse 9]
as dust cleared on a h*ll changed forever
the gang rebuilt their pointless
hotel together
i have plans to put in motion
there’s a moment here to seize
though i have a sneaking notion
that the same goes for the vees
who will be victorious?
will someone be redeemed?
and that is where the story is
if all is as it seemed
who knows what twists
the future has in store?
you may laugh
you may cry
you may lose your mind
but you sure as h*ll
won’t be bored

- amir talai lyrics

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