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bartholomew - armando iaccarino lyrics

it was monday morning, the clock struck eight
bartholomew spilled coffee on his laptop plate
he said, “that’s it, i’m done with this scene
no more spreadsheets, i’m chasing a dream!”

he wore his tie like a superhero cape
took the elevator to a bold escape
told his boss, “i need something more!”
then moonwalked out through the office door

lord, oh bartholomew, the office renegade
traded powerpoint for a grand parade
he chased a fax through the mountain mist
fought a printеr that refused to exist
oh bartholomеw, with stapler in hand
he brought back joy to a paperless land
mondays won’t be dull again
thanks to bartholomew… and his ballpoint pen!

he tamed wild keyboards in the breakroom den
met lost interns who thought it was 2010
he slayed a scanner with a laser mouse
then built a boat out of memos and doubts

he crossed the sea of budget charts
with sticky notes shaped like broken hearts
he climbed a mountain of hr forms
and yelled, “i quit!… just kiddingstay warm.”
oh bartholomew, the spreadsheet slayer
turned paperclips into dragon*sprayers
he danced with risk, he fought with flair
he even beat a meeting chair!
oh bartholomew, now legend and lore
the breakroom tells what he fought for:
hope, caffeine, and casual wear
and fridays off, if you dare

now every monday, folks gather near
to hear the tale with donuts and cheer
and somewhere out past the office gate
bartholomew is out there… probably running late

oh bartholomew, our myth, our guy in slacks
he turned resigning into wisecracks
the cubicles whisper his name with pride
“he ctrl+alt+deleted corporate life!”
so raise your mugs, give bartholomew a cheer
for making mondays the best day of the year!

- armando iaccarino lyrics

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