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birthday card - ava jean cutlip lyrics

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[savannah]
my mom and i have this tradition
it’s stupid and dumb, but it’s ours
every year on my birthday
she picks the most weird looking card

she stuffs it with money and glitter
pretty and shiny and bright
i let it all fall to the floor
and i read the message she writes

“happy birthday, baby
the best day of my life was the day that you joined us
i’m proud of your courage and talent and g*nius
but most of all, i love the way you love jesus”

i kept each one she ever gave me
i don’t know what that says about me
i sit myself in the tension
between sour and sweet

what would she do if she saw me
all the way down in my heart
who would she think that i am
if i took out the christian part
she writes, “happy birthday, baby”
i know she’s not trying to actually upset me
but there in invisible ink at the ending
it’s “why can’t you be more like lennie?”

i’m sorry i make you feel ugly
i’m sorry for stealing your shoes, that was mean
i’m sorry you can’t understand what you are doing to me

how do i live up to something i never really got to choose?
it’s no use, there’s no room

jesus said, “father, forgive them
for they do not know what they do”
so i just say, “thanks for the card, mom
it means a lot coming from you”

- ava jean cutlip lyrics

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