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unisex chip shop (tribute to billy bragg) - bill bailey lyrics

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i used to buy my chips
from an oppressive chip shop regime
the girl who worked there, she seemed happy
but i knew it was not what it seemed
“do you want salt and vinegar”
is what they made her say
but in the language of the ghetto
that means “help, i’m a woman in chains”

i wanted to free her
in my dreams i would see her
running naked through the woods ’round rainham
if i had some tigers i’d train them
to protect her
from the s*xual fascism that was lurking
around the gherkins

i’d lean across the counter and we would talk
i carved her name, debbie, on a little wooden fork
when into the shop came a skinhead gang
they sn*tched the fork from my hand
debbie, she looked at me to assert my masculinity
i said “oi!”
they said “what?”
i said “nothing.”

- bill bailey lyrics

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