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the hyperchannel rag - brentalfloss lyrics

[chekov (spoken)]
mr. khan noonien sings the hyperchannel rag!
notice how his russian accent is always convincing…
…almost

[carol]
do you read me?
[chekov]
nice to meet you!
[carol]
uh, we’ve met, sir
[chekov]
nice to greet you!
[carol]
you seem different
[chekov]
i feel fine, ma’am
[carol]
you’ve got blood around your ear
[chekov]
the better to hear you my dear!
uh, nicked it on a pruning shear!
uh, cut it shaving off my beard!
yeah, that’s it!

[carol]
where’re ya headed?
[chekov]
to your station
[carol]
wait, to where now?
[chekov]
your location!
[carol]
why, what happened?
[chekov]
well, good news: we scanned for life and there was none
so just go home, your job is done!
[carol]
oh no no no no, no no no no no
no, no no no!
we weren’t expecting you for three more months
you must give us more time!
[scientists]
yeah! yeah! yeah!
[david]
who in the h*ll do they think they are?
the rotten, starfleet slime?!

[carol]
can you hold off?
[chekov]
we’re on route now!
[carol]
just a minute!
[chekov]
gotta scoot now!
[david]
this is madness!
[chekov]
one last thing though:
please prepare the premises, we’re also taking genesis!

[carol]
oh no no no no no, no no no no no
no no!
this is not a toy for your torpedo bay
we’ve got more tests to do!
[scientists]
yeah! yeah! yeah!
[chekov]
i have my orders
[david]
well who gave the order?
[scientists]
yeah! who wants to screw us?
[david]
and dash all our progress?
[scientists]
and steal our plans and put us out of work?
[khan]
hee hee hee hee!
[chekov]
it was definitely…
indubitably…
unilaterally….
[scientists]
yeah?
[chekov]
admiral james t. kirk!
[ensemble]
freakin’ starfleet!
bunch of assh0l*s!
[chekov]
just following orders
[david]
kirk, that b*st*rd!
[khan]
reliant out!

- brentalfloss lyrics

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