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shame on me - brother elio lyrics

[verse 1]

the dorm rooms emptied out on a tuesday afternoon
god sent a plague just to clear the room
and i took it as a mercy, a holy hand upon my mouth saying
“child, hush now, it’s time to go south”

i saw you lingering by the lake, looking for a sign
but i was already calculating the distance between your future and mine
you wanted a trinity, some twisted, jagged shape
but i don’t share the altar, and i don’t share the grape

[chorus]

and i’m not gonna be the one who waits
while you weigh her iron against my silver gates
i want to be loved like a fevеr, absolute and cruel

not just a passive charactеr in your foolish adventure
so i let the silence eat the phone lines, i let the screen go black
our lord closed the world so i wouldn’t have to look back

[verse]

april lied to us both, said we had time to steal
but i’m watching the odds rise and the sun get parched
you called seventeen times, i watched them all ring out
a mastermind builds a fortress while the others yell and cry
i studied the embers while you studied your regret
choosing me, choosing her, a gamble you haven’t won yet
it was hurting my head, it was hurting my grades
so i took the knife and i cut the braids

[chorus]

and i’m not gonna be the one who stays
while you weigh her flower against my blade
i want to be loved like a spark, sudden and undoing

not just a footnote in your drifting fairytale
so i let the silence bite the phone lines, i let the screen go black
our lord made our world sick so i wouldn’t have to turn around

[bridge]

i graduated in the quiet, a robe of heavy solitude
honors on the paper, a starving attitude
and i think about you sometimes, stuck in that indecisive gray
wondering where i went, and why i wouldn’t stay

but i left a breadcrumb, a little piece of rot
for chloe to find in the tangled knot
an anonymous text, glowing in the dark
1 4 3, yeah, that’s the mark
let her have the truth, let her have her dignity
i’m walking clean down this empty road

[outro]

it was divine intervention, baby, don’t you see ?
god stopped the spinning earth just to set me free
just to set me free

from the half*love
from the half*life
i’m whole now
i’m whole now

- brother elio lyrics

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