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consider it a win - ceschi lyrics

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by this age i thought i’d be dead and gone
i’m still figuring out what i f*cking want
i do work but don’t have a job
pay rent but don’t have a home
what does that freedom cost?

had a dream the other night that you were back alive
[?] for the way you died
it’s your f*cking [?] sometimes
[?] attempting to survive when there’s no hope in sight

i don’t know what it means to go slow
[?]
but deep down i’m hoping i’ll grow old

i don’t know what it means to go slow
[?]
but deep down i’m hoping i’ll grow old

wish i could lie to you and say the world has changed
that people became better since you left this place
but it somehow just feels the same
another incel k!lled immigrants, [?]

and most days feel heavy from the weight of the world
and the weight of this skin and fat and bones
so i’m left here carving a sp*ce for myself
embracing the pain of this short existence
i don’t know what it means to go slow
[?]
but deep down i’m hoping i’ll grow old

i don’t know what it means to go slow
[?]
but deep down i’m hoping i’ll grow old

no i don’t want to hang myself today
and i consider that a win
no i don’t want to hang myself today
and i consider that a win

i remember when they prayed for you on the internet
i remember when those prayers came and went
the next day we had one less friend
humans cling onto anything when they’re feeling helpless

there are many days that i wish i had your guts
and the beautiful way you didn’t give a f*ck
but it feels like sad fat luck
that i’m even alive so i’m stuck accepting this present

i don’t know what it means to go slow
[?]
but deep down i’m hoping i’ll grow old
i don’t know what it means to go slow
[?]
but deep down i’m hoping i’ll grow old

no i don’t want to hang myself today
and i consider that a win
no i don’t want to hang myself today
and i consider that a win

- ceschi lyrics

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