canned laughter. - charles galbasin's spinoff work lyrics
may 16th 2023, the southern’s every other monday open mic
in the booth as always, accompanied by my brother, mother, father, and brody, and his dad
i’m sat in the middle, watching chris alan do his set
he’s talking ‘bout boats, and intimate s*xual experiences
but just as he wraps up and gets his big laugh, he calls up the next act…
that’s my b*tch*ass
bursting at the seams, and nervous as can be, i hurry past the people, worried that this scenes about to be a blood*bath
and what’s worse is that my teachers even came to see it
but thеre i was, walmart bo burnham with that long uncolmed mane
standing on thе stage, looking out at my dreams
my crowd for the evening, my crowning achievement
i’ve sought this for years and now
as i clammilly adjust the mic, i fiddle with it for a second, standing, not understanding it, and the crowd was loving it, laughing
i’m feeling far more fear than enthusiasm
as i’m in the moment, i avoid eye contact and say “hi.”
have a voice crack, and they cracking up
“umm, i’m charles galbasin, uhh, i’m an autistic musical comedian.”
they cheer again, revering me, i revel in their energy
“i’m sorry if i seem a little nervous y’all, i’m seventeen, and this my dream, my everything, the first i’ve been on stage.”
then they clap again, (what’s happening? i’m surely in a daze.)
this sick and all, but i ain’t sticking to the script yet
pray my writing’s just as hilarious as me just being my clumsy awkward self in front of all these fellow comedians and people who respect the form so deeply
“man, i used to stand in the kitchen, pretend i was in this position i am now. talkin’ to the fridge imaginin’ a soldout crowd* but it never found any of my jokes funny, ‘cause it was a f*cking fridge”
loud roaring out*pour of guffaws, but, i wasn’t that sure, it was support, thinking they ain’t wanna hurt my feelings i continued
“well, anyway, i got a song to sing you, it’s on the ukelele, aka the gay guitar.”
they stay laughing, i’m kinda gaining confidence
“ignore the bandaid on my thumb, it’s so i don’t get blisters when i strum ‘cause i’m a p*ssy.”
sh*t was weaker, but they still reacted
“so this the first song i released, the first song i ever showed to more than 3 people at a time, the first song on my debut album, and the first i’ll ever play live, it’s called: first song.”
then i plucked the fluorocarbon and the way i..
the way i..
the way i froze in that moment
the way i froze in that moment,*
but i had to break the silence
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