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herpes - chet novicki lyrics

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[verse]
i met this sweetie in a bar
i guess she was a hooker
she said for the right price i could do
anything but cook ‘er

i thought that she was joking
till her hand crawled in my pants
and that’s when i decided that
perhaps i’d take a chance

she said for fifty bucks i could act
nasty mean and dirty
i said i like it straight
she said okay then that’s just thirty

she took me to a hotel
where i knocked me up a quickie
and now i’ve got these little blisters
here on my doohickey

[chorus]
i think its herpes
herpes

[verse]
well you can bet your life
its going to be a b*tch to
explain this to my wife
i call the herpes hotline
to ask what i should be doin’
the man there said the main thing is
to stay away from screwin’

i went to see my doctor
hopin’ for a contradiction
perhaps it was a allergy
or maybe caused by friction

i layed it on the table
and the doc made his inspection
and then he said
“i’m sorry son, you should have used protection”

[chorus]
oh yes its herpes
herpes

[verse]
i made one little slip
and now i’m even breaking out
here on my lower lip

i know that i’m just one of twenty million folks who’ve got it
what makes me really mad is that
it wasn’t free i bought it
[outro]
oh yes its herpes
herpes
herpes
herpes

- chet novicki lyrics

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