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if i surrender - citizen soldier lyrics

[verse 1]
lately i’ve been feeling so ashamed
by these thoughts i’m hiding in my brain
’cause i’ve been holding them down but they twist me violently (*ly, *ly)
i’m hanging by a thread tonight but this time i don’t wanna be saved (saved)

[verse 2]
what’s thе point of holding on like this?
when no one seems to care if i exist
there is no agony like being strong when no one knows you’re sick
so sick of hearing i should stay when i know i would never be missed

[chorus]
so let me fall, let me break
under everything unsaid
just let me die ’cause i can’t take
living with what’s in my head
if i surrender, surrender
to the monsters in me
if i surrender, surrender
to the monsters in me
[bridge]
if you could see under my skin
you’d realize why i hold it in
why it’s a fight i don’t wanna win
why it’s a fight i don’t wanna win
if you could see all my abuse
and spent a day inside my shoes
you’d realize why i just wanna lose
you’d realize why i just wanna lose
will anyone believe the h*ll of being me
before i decide to be the dying proof?

- citizen soldier lyrics

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