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coronary life - cledus t. judd lyrics

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parody of ordinary life by chad brock (connie harrington/bonnie baker), magnolia hill music (ascap) (a division of mcspadden-smith music llc).

new lyrics & music by cledus t. judd/chris clark, cledus cr-p anthems (sesac)/of music (sesac)

cledus at the kitchen table
short of breath, legally disabled
wife walks in, she’s so surprised
can’t believe i’m still alive
i say i’m hungry for biscuits and gravy
that patty melt that you always made me
but i can’t eat that anymore

they say grease kills;
tastes good to me
day in, day out it’s all i eat
my third byp-ss, unclogged the valves
just to clog them again
never felt worse;
a constant thirst
lordy how my left arm hurts
i blame my job, i blame my wife
for this coronary life

cledus on the er table
vital signs ain’t too stable
hey, doc, i’m proud of you
i didn’t think that i’d pull through
later in intensive care
i had the nurses laughing there
so thankful blue cross will pay

for the bills, my ivs
four thousand dollar ekgs
that’s the last time i need
angioplasty
it’s off i go to tye-bo
to improve my cardio
it’s about time i said goodbye
to my coronary life

sweat’s pouring off me at the health spa
the stairmaster’s wore me out again
you know i can’t believe how much i miss
the way i used to live

i’d eat red meat,
pickled pigs feet
always craving something sweet
my food was fast,
but that’s the past
i can’t eat fat again
aerobicize,
reduced my thighs
no more german chocolate pie
i miss my fudge, i miss my fries
and my coronary life

- cledus t judd lyrics

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