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her untitled notepad - cool dad lyrics

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there’s a pain inside my head
like there’s a pain inside her stomach
i don’t know if i should be worried cause it’s probably nothing

but even if it’s something, i probably deserve that
even if it hurts me, i don’t wanna go back
cause you just judge me endlessly, effortlessly
with your thoughts of empathy pathetically wishing i could be better

and even if i could, i’ve probably missed my chance
not that you could never comprehend or come to understand
the way that i am feeling, it’s a constant f*cking misery
seriously, what did i do to deserve this bittersweet
life, where if you go and look at me the wrong way
i’ll be happy that you’re here but hoping you’re gone one day
and even if you do stay, that’s okay, i suppose
i don’t know, maybe if you stay i could go

and even if i go, would you hope that i’d stayed
although you don’t care about me anymore, anyway
and even if i stay, would you hope that i’d leave
so you didn’t have to worry about where i saw you bleed

is it on your arms, or is it on your thighs again
parasitic thoughts inside your mind again
are heightened when
people say your name, like is it even truly yours
reality is fickle
it’s all just a concept of thought
and yet i always resort
back to this
blasphemous dream where
you and me can still be friends by the end

and even if we could, i’ve probably missed my chance
not that you could never comprehend or come to understand

are you writing your thoughts down again?
what do they say?
oh, what do they say?
do they say just how much you hate me?
or how much you wish i had stayed?
but you always said how
romance was boring
and i know you just couldn’t care less
but in this gambling game
there’s no red or black
so i’d take it all back
and choose blue

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