self-inflicted martyrdom - cross bringer lyrics
i confess
forever enslaved
by my own hate
trapped in a room
(with) the one i can’t stand
one day it has to stop
trying my hardest and failing
planning upfront and bailing
seeing the darkness unveiling
tying a rope to a railing
clawing my eyes out every time i see this face appear
it’s oozing sh*t, without a reason i want to disappear
(i can’t) i cannot find a single thing i tolerate enough
i try to think of the good deeds, it feels just like a bluff
i cannot trust myself enough to talk to others too
self*deprivation has been winning, telling me what’s “true”
worthless piece of sh*t
angry f*cking tw*t
obsessive freak
dysphoric maniac
whose will to live still lingers
(i am) choosing for life
checking my time
wasted on strife
heartache and grime;
reasons to live
be more humane
to myself first
no more pain
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