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whale of a tale (live in winnipeg) - danny michel lyrics

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i used to drive a racecar, but i won every single time,
i once met the great elvis prestley, way back in his prime.
a pilot had a heart attack, yeah so i had to land the plane,
i once saved a little kid from drowndin’ [sic]
i invented cellophane.

i used to be a millionaire, i’d drop a thousand bucks a day,
that made all the more lonely, so i threw it all away.
i’ve lived almost everywhere, probably right in your own neighborhood.
i once broke out of prison,
and i hid out in the woods.

it was there that i discovered a dinosaur, and i drive a blue corvette.
i once swam clear across lake erie, without even getting wet.
cause i’m the guy who saved the show, cause i knew how to fix a fuse.
are these pretzels complimentary?
well i don’t mind if i do.

i used to play the guitar myself, till a press crushed my hand.
have you heard of the great otis redding? well i played in his band.
i once worked as a miner, i was an actor for a little while off in france.
and my uncle’s cousin’s brother,
taught fred astaire to dance-

cause if you ask me how to tango, i’ll wear down any rug.
cause have you seen the way those kids all dance today, i swear they’re all on drugs.
i could drink me a million drinks, if a million drinks did appear.
but i only got enough,
for one more little beer.

-the version that danny used to play live, before this song went on
his alb-m fibsville, originally went:
“have you ever heard of winona ryder,
well i got in her…”

- danny michel lyrics

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