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i forgot to take my e shot - darling driftwood lyrics

[verse 1]
these days i’m weaning myself off of ssris
so i can do more psychedelics
if i told my old psychiatrist she’d be p*ssed, i bet
but i don’t really give a sh*t
i just want escape from this suicidal b*n*lity
i’m done with my reality, ain’t nothing for me here
let me destroy my brain and dissolve my body
why won’t you let me disappear?

[verse 2]
it’s hard to form connections, i’m autistic as sh*t
and this rampant paranoia fills my brain
it’s hard to trust anyone but i trusted you
and now i think i’m going insane
in this town there isn’t a single place i can hang out
without being watched all the time
figures hidden in the cornеrs of my eyes
so i’ll drink until i fall asleep tonight

[chorus]
and it’s moments likе this that keep me wondering
do i need to admit myself or did i forget to take my e*shot?
i can’t tell anymore ’cause i’m rotting my brain with alcohol
but i’m all out and i think i’m going crazy
i drive into the mountains to save the ones who love me
sure i can just get sober and air myself out to dry
but really what i want right now is just to f*cking die so
i’ll just sit here until it doesn’t hurt anymore
until i pass out drunk on the kitchen floor
two, three, four
[verse 3]
i used to be a hermit, i used to be a misanthrope
but these days i can’t be alone
intrusive thoughts of what i should do to myself
i can’t feel safe in my own godd*mn home
got no self preservation, i ain’t that kind of gal
so don’t get in my face about being dumb
just let me be foolish, i’m the right kind of age
just gorgeous and stupid and young

[verse 4]
i really miss the way you hold your cigarette in your lips
when your playing guitar
i miss hearing your voice resonate through my apartment
now that you’re so godd*mn far
i feel like a monster when others get attached to me
and nothing hurts more than seeing you cry
i feel like a fool for getting so attached to others
but still i’ll cling on for one more night

[chorus]
and it’s moments like this that keep me wondering
do i need to admit myself or did i forget to take my e*shot?
i can’t tell anymore ’cause i’m rotting my brain with alcohol
but i’m all out and i think i’m going crazy
i drive into the mountains to save the ones who love me
sure i can just get sober and air myself out to dry
but really what i want right now is just to f*cking die so
i’ll just sit here until it doesn’t hurt anymore
until i pass out drunk on the kitchen floor
two, three, four

- darling driftwood lyrics

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