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i was rather disappointed - deathbyromy lyrics

[intro * voiceover]
i was 5 years old when i first questioned the value of my life
i don’t know why the ignorant bliss most kids experience fully missed me but it did
my mother was dropping me off at the schoolyard when i asked her if i was a mistake
i could tell i disturbed her
and though these thoughts run constant yet
they were the birth of many troubling years to come

[chorus]
please forgive me mama
i know that it k!lled you inside
your tears weren’t for nothing
i’m having the time of my life
[voice over]
by the time i was twelve i was fully convinced i wanted to die
i saw no love or beauty in anything
my reflection disgusted me and all i had were bad thoughts now
my problems felt unimportant and i insignificant in my own home
i saw how badly my mother was hurting too
the last thing i wanted was to burden her further so i thought it best i go to sleep for a very long time
but when i woke i was rather dissapointed

[chorus]
please forgive me mama
i know that it k!lled you inside
your tears weren’t for nothing
i’m having the time of my life

[voice over]
at 16 years old i dropped out of school and decided to give the old happy pills a chance
pills didn’t seem to help too much though
my faculties continued to fail me time and time again
it was at my childhood friend’s birthday that i really lost it
smashing my head into my poor mothers car
i was hospitalised shortly after

[chorus]
please forgive me mama
i know that it k!lled you inside
your tears weren’t for nothing
i’m having the time of my life
please forgive me mama
i know that it k!lled you inside
your tears weren’t for nothing
i’m having the time of my life
[phone call]
hey romy, it’s your mom
please give me a call
i don’t know if you want some (?)
me and dad are trying to reach you
making sure everything is okay

[outro]
i’m having the time of my life

- deathbyromy lyrics

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