infomercial - demosthenes lyrics
this message was brought to you by rutland’s pharmacy. welcome to the caffeine ep! the first over*the*counter project to contain over five hundred grams of caffeine. the caffeine ep is the number one doctor*recommended treatment for cancer, clinical depression, generalized anxiety disorder, substance abuse, aids, herpes, bad vibes and more
the caffeine ep saved my life! i was diagnosed with clinical depression, but after listening to the caffeine ep, i saw my mood improve drastically
after listenin’ to the caffeine ep, i was able to end my crack cocaine addiction. now i’m hooked on the music. i’m obsessed
what’re you waiting for? ask your doctors today if the caffeine ep is right for you
side effects may include dry mouth, cold sweat, fever, headache, blood clots, projectile vomiting, diarrhea, spontaneous ej*cul*tion, mild to severe insomnia, foot fungus, loss of appetite, hallucinations, seizures, disassociation and death
the caffeine ep is not recommended for pregnant women or children, or anyone under the age of twenty*one. if you experience any of the listed side effects, please consult a licensed medical professional immediately
thanks caffeine ep!
caffeine ep
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