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fuckt up in lanford illinois - dj duck lyrics

[intro]
have you ever smoked so much damprid you thought you were in roseanne
i have, and this is my story
dj duck
let us commence forth

[verse]
i smoked 70 pounds of damprid in lanford, illinois
my d*ck fell off and turned into a baby’s arm
i tried to put it back on but it was already dead
laurie metcalf saw this and began furiously m*st*rbating with a turkey baster
suddenly john goodman began materializing in front of me
he asked me if i wanted to go to the store and buy some more damprid
laurie metcalf began speaking 47 dialects of arabic at once
i threw up and diеd but was immediately revivеd by a giant raccoon
the raccoon told me that i was now the king of lanford, illinois
i began a tyrannical reign of terror, enslaving all of the townspeople
laurie metcalf became my s*x slave and was forced to perform unspeakable acts upon me
john goodman joined us in our s*xual escapades and we formed a three*way relationship
we spent our days smoking damprid and committing heinous atrocities upon the people of lanford, illinois

[outro]
this is my story, f*ck you
thank you for listening

- dj duck lyrics

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