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i want to love again - downcast (uk) lyrics

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i drove past our old place
i haven’t seen your face in a long time
it took me back to two*thousand*eighteen
my heart was racing

maybe i could find new love there
maybe i’m just replacing the pain i feel inside
with something temporary

cause i’ve been wasting my time
between these four walls
today i didn’t leave my room
i can’t bear to face the world
when i can’t even bear all the small talk

been looking out for 444 out my window
as if i need some help to grow
i’ll face the same old problems
time and time again till i get it right

that trauma from twenty*eighteen
hasn’t taught me a d*mn thing
i stay away from love
and question how to judge
if a good person comes my way
wish i could go back
and tell myself that
you ain’t worth it
i don’t need that

i don’t feel right
alone tonight

and i don’t want you back
i hope you know that
you wore me down
we’d fight till i’d crack

i don’t feel right
but i’ll be alright

i just need something to believe in
i wanna love again
i wanna feel something

i should’ve let you go
and i want you to know
that now i’m so much stronger
than i was some time ago
you wrapped your arms around me
said you’d never leave me
you were my escape
and i let you deceive me
the songs i used to sing
were just growing pains
now contextualised in the life i’ve painted

i’ve made more mistakes
than some will make in a lifetime
but i was so much more than you deserved
and i’ll never find the right lines

because you messed me up
and the way i love
i reject it every time
someone gets close

but i’m starting to get better

- downcast uk lyrics

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