bargain with my inner demon - elxi lyrics
intro
he didn’t rise to tear or scream
he knelt… to bargain with the dream
verse 1
i met him not with threat or blade
but with the truths i once mislaid
not all beasts come out to feed
some crawl through what we fail to heed
verse 2
he wore my tone in warped disguise
a smirk stitched from my own despise
i asked, “why stay?”—he grinned at me
“i speak in all you won’t let be.”
pre*chorus
dread’s not a wall—it’s the key
you shaped me just to bury me
you fed me stillness like a creed
but i recall what you won’t see
chorus
i bargained not to endless ache
but to scr*pe the weight from what i became
no word could cleave what we entwine
he was myself that i called “not mine.”
i stood still…
and drank the chill
a pact signed blind, but cut by spine
verse 3
no chains, no script, no crown to earn
just terms that sear and never turn
i said, “your price?”—he cracked the lens:
“outlive yourself… with no amends.”
bridge
i gave him image—he scorched it blind
i gave him face—he stripped the design
he wasn’t bred to curse or cry
he grew from oaths i let run dry
final chorus
i bargained not to walk away
but to claim the limbs i cast astray
in the ash where i feared i’d drown
he didn’t flinch—he pulled me down
not healed. not clean
just finally seen—
the war was mine. and he wore my crown
outro
he bowed. i bowed
and neither of us pled
just one of us…
was finally read
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