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burial gift - ennui (ny) lyrics

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quiet guilt, an agreement of night
“warmth is mine, what’s right is right.”
her humid trap–it feels like h*ll
you cannot dictate what i’ll never feel
i’m sorry my body, we’re cold again
there’s a love i want to feel but it’s not here
i’m sorry your urge to use, i’m sorry i agreed

man from a boy, man from a boy
a pig from birth, unclean and coy
loathe my body, i f*ck to escape
a man is a man but no one talks about rape

and we try to speak about poison
unbeknownst to the poison in ourselves
i lament these inadequate things
that drew us together
and we try to speak about poison
unbeknownst to the poison in ourselves
i lament these inadequate things
that drew us together

arousal, arousal, arousal
arousal, arousal, arousal
arousal, arousal, arousal
through your body, i hate my own
and you take it away from me
give it back

and i struggle to give these contraventions a name
unsure of what to feel in these half*hearted anxieties
staring at a tunnel of ceilings, present but not present
i’m filthy inside you but there’s nothing left inside of myself
walking through the valleys of nothing
and it hurts to know
pacifying as it is unnerving
uncertainty
that all of the good is slain by insatiable l*st

and you took everything
take it away from me

torch every inch of skin that can f*ck
born again, i erase your touch

- ennui ny lyrics

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