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jackie chan vs the karate kid - epic rap battle parodies lyrics

jackie chan:
before facing off the legendary fighter jackie chan
take a few notes on how not to fight from mr. danny*san
i can beat you in less than a rush hour, try my drunken style, dog
if i can take down don cheadle, then this won’t be very hard
your stances are so bad, it’s like a tekken fighter left on idle
you’re such a boring character, they should make a show about your rival
some chinese bullies left you sore? my raps are a verbal hiroshima
so if you’re bеgging to be put down, i won’t hesitate to bеat ya

daniel larusso:
ever since my beginning’s, i’ve been told to fight with peace
but…. you’re about to get a piece of me
i may need some assistance, but i just go solo, you know bro?
come face me alone, yo, in the dojo you h0m*
jackie chan adventures? i prefer mike tyson’s mysteries
i belong in a hall of fame, what’s even your history?
you’re a bruce lee copy paste right down to the foot work
i nearly fell to my death from a cliff, i would’ve let you drop you jerk
jackie chan:
watcha! got so many asian tricks for this karate kunt
i’ll back flip kick the 4th wall to tell you i did my own stunts
a cracker appropriating chinese culture? what’s up with that?
no matter, i’ve got the moves and grooves to make your head go splat!
try to land a hit, i’ll reflex a blocker, daniel*san
you look like a p*ssy and smell like c*cker spaniel dog
come flying down my rap trail, it appears you’ve met a dead end
no wonder you bombed, you sport imperial j*pan on your headband!

daniel larusso:
no more “mr. nice guy” i can’t let him have his way
but we must defend our honor, so come k!ll his ass, sensei!

mr. miyagi:
i’m always on the run when daniel*san gives me a call
you can wax on, wax off my d*mn b*lls
with my crane kick there’s no way you could stop me
drop a gotcha c*cky block, see, mr miyagi nagasaki
you’re like one of those flies i’ll chop stick to death
jackie chan going hi*yaw spreads that nasty noodle breath
with how much jackie cries, sounds like he needs his mommy quick
am i going too hard? i don’t really give a karate sh*t
my movies are beloved, while yours only spur a sigh
i’m gonna leave this snake behind, call it cobra bye

- epic rap battle parodies lyrics

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