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a self love struggle - erik cain lyrics

[verse 1]
lately, my heart begins to break just like my promises did
made bad decisions, got me hating all my consequences
i search my soul and i can’t locate where my confidence went
trying to convince myself that i think i love you, sometimes i think not
it’s like my heart and mind are in a competition
sometimes my feelings start to talk and i don’t often listen
it’s either i can’t make my mind or i’ma rush decisions
and i can’t lie, i think i’m lost and that’s been tough admitting

[chorus]
and when i’m looking in the mirror, i hate to say i love you
i get thе fighting baby tears, i hate to say i love you
and i’vе been battling for years, i hate to say i love you
i wish these feelings disappear, i hate to say i love you
i want to give you all my love, but lately i can’t trust you
it’s like my soul became addicted, it’s why i hate to touch you
and i don’t mind i try to leave and end up crying, i hear they say that love is blind and they ain’t lying
i hate to say i love you

[verse 2]
i’ve been trying to find some healing for my pain
tears flowing it’s been feeling like the rain and i’m ashamed
ask about my 13 reasons, i got a million and some change
so i put a chain around the box for which my feelings are contained
it’s hard to open up, i try to find the words i end up choking up
so i tell it to my pillow as i’ve awoken, it’s been soaking up the grief from my eyes from when i cry myself to sleep, it’s got me weak
so say i love you, i think i spoke too much. d*mn
[chorus]
and when i’m looking in the mirror, i hate to say i love you
i get the fighting baby tears, i hate to say i love you
and i’ve been battling for years, i hate to say i love you
i wish these feelings disappear, i hate to say i love you
i want to give you all my love, but lately i can’t trust you
it’s like my soul became addicted, that’s why i hate to touch you
and i don’t mind i try to leave and up crying, i hear they say
that love is blind and they ain’t lying
i hate to say i love you

[verse 3]
know i hate to say i need you, so i’mma tell you that i doesn’t
and you can tell me that i’m lying, i ain’t going to try to say i wasn’t
and that just means that talk is cheap, these words they come a dime a dozen
i spend my time to self*destruct, and i try to tell you i*i*i*i*i, i end up stuttering
they got caught up in my stomach, and that’s why i eat my words and they be hot straight out the oven
better pray they don’t regurgitate cuz that would be disgusting
hate to say it, problem is that i’m not bluffing
it’s too much, so just know

[chorus] x2
that when i’m looking in the mirror, i hate to say i love you
i get to fighting baby tears, i hate to say i love you
and i’ve been battling for years, i hate to say i love you
i wish these feelings disappear, i hate to say i love you
i want to give you all my love, but lately i can’t trust you
it’s like my soul became addicted, that’s why i hate to touch you
and i don’t mind i try to leave and end up crying, i hear they say that love is blind and they ain’t lying, i hate to say i love you

- erik cain lyrics

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