but i'm yours - family guy lyrics
lois: …well i think you are the sweetest man in the whole world
peter: well this guy ain’t going anywhere lois. hey let me tell you something. ♪i know i haven’t always been the perfect spouse.♪
lois: you do ok
peter: ♪i drink too much and leave the cans around the house.♪
lois: well you do that
peter:♪ and once i cleaned up stewie’s doody with your blouse.♪
lois: what?!
peter: ♪i may be thoughtless.♪
lois: no you’re not
peter: ♪i may be sloppy♪
lois: well, a little
peter: ♪i may be stupid.♪
lois: well, a lot
peter: ♪but i’m yours♪
lois: ♪you’re figure isn’t always what it ought to be.♪
peter: eh, i gotta lose five pounds
lois: ♪but rollie*pollie belly’s never bothered me.♪
peter: thank you
lois: ♪or that you scream for hours when you hurt your knee.♪
peter: (breathes in) ahh(breathes out). {just like he did when he fell after finding the pawtucket scroll}
peter: ♪i may be chubby.♪
lois; well, 296
peter: ♪i may be lazy.♪
lois: sorry, 298
peter: ♪i may be clumsy♪
lois: only often
peter; ♪but i’m yours♪
lois: ♪what if one day a rapist attacked me?♪
peter: ♪i would use him to mop up the street.♪
lois: ♪you would?♪
peter: ♪you bet. i got a left hook.♪
lois: ♪what if he was big?♪
peter: ♪i got a right hook♪
lois: ♪what if he was a woman?♪
peter: ♪i got a camera, freaking sweet.♪
peter/lois: ♪♪i/you may be brainless.♪♪
peter/lois: ♪♪i/you may be witless.♪♪
peter: ♪i may be irish.♪
peter: ♪but i’m yours.♪
lois: ♪and would you wash the dishes if i asked you to?♪
♪that kind of thing is every woman’s dream come true.♪
peter: ♪i’ll do ’em when this very special coach is through.♪
lois: will you empty the trash?
peter: ♪i got a backache.♪
lois: will you fix the toilet?
peter: ♪i got a headache.♪
lois: will you vacuum the den?
peter: ♪i got a p*n*s♪
lois: you’re a s*xist
peter: ♪but i’m yours.♪
lois: ♪they say a man should treat his lady like a prize.♪
♪a goddess greek to worship with adoring eyes.♪
peter: ♪but i won’t do that greeky thing of humpin’ guys.♪
peter: ♪i may be phobic♪
♪i may be stinky♪
♪i may be farting♪ {farts}
♪but i’m yours.♪
lois: ♪would you brave any hurdle to save me?♪
peter: ♪i would slay any foes by the scores.♪
lois: lions?
peter: ♪i got a shotgun.♪
lois: tigers?
peter: ♪i got a blowtorch.♪
lois: the christian right?
peter: ♪i got a p*rno.♪
lois: that’ll do it
peter: ♪’cause i’m yours.♪
peter/lois: ♪♪i/you may be dopey.♪♪
peter/lois: ♪♪i/you may be messy.♪♪
peter/lois: ♪♪i may be peter.♪♪
peter/lois: ♪and i’m yours.♪
{applause}
brian: hey, you smell something?
stewie: oh, dear
brian: what?
stewie: oh, dear
brian: what’s the matter?
stewie: oh you’re not going to like this
brian: what?
stewie: i just made a doody
brian: oh, god
stewie: i’m sorry, it just slipped out unannounced
brian: what do you mean “unannounced”?
stewie: well, normally the doody schedules an exit interview before it departs, but this one seems to have no regard for protocol
brian: do you need a change?
stewie: no no, it’s alright. op, there’s another one
brian: christ, let’s hurry up and get to the next number. here’s a favorite of mine by the great antonio carlos jobim
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