puberty's gonna get me - family guy lyrics
chris: ♪p*b*rty’s gonna get me.♪
♪no way to stop it now.♪
♪i offer a plea, just let me be.♪
♪but p*b*rty says “no how.”♪
♪i’m just a ball of pimples and zits♪
♪i’m feeling funny inside.♪
♪p*b*rty’s gonna get me♪
♪and there’s nowhere to run or to hide.♪
♪two years ago while my skin was clear♪
♪nothin’s the same as it used to be.♪
♪now that i’m growin’ i’m watchin’ fox♪
♪’cause i’m too old to watch abc.♪
♪in my pants there’s lot of hair♪
♪growing as if to spite me.♪
♪my scr*t*m looks just like a werewolf.♪
♪i’m scared that it might try to bite me.♪
♪ohhhhhh……..♪
♪p*b*rty’s gonna get me♪
♪there’s nothin’ i can do.♪
♪thеre’s no one to blame for all my shamе♪
♪and no one that i can sue.♪
♪after i turn from twelve to thirteen♪
♪oh, how i wish i had died.♪
♪p*b*rty’s gonna get me♪
♪and there’s nowhere to run or to hide.♪
♪when i was younger i hated girls.♪
♪they were too gooshy and soft and cute.♪
♪now when i see one my legs get weak♪
♪and my w*ng makes a hitler salute.♪
♪once i used to like sheryl crow♪
♪she was talented and plucky.♪
♪but now that i’m older and wiser♪
♪i see that she’s just really lucky.♪
♪ohhhhhh……..♪
♪p*b*rty’s gonna get me.♪
♪i’m just completely screwed.♪
♪i beg and i say, “please go away♪
♪and bother some other dude.”♪
♪everyone says, “hey, don’t be a spaz♪
♪just try to take it in stride.”♪
♪p*b*rty’s gonna get me♪
♪i can feel it deep down inside.♪
♪i’m covered with fuzz♪
♪and i’m crying because♪
♪there’s nowhere to run.♪
{applause}
lois: by the way peter, do you know what next friday is?
peter: uh, yeah, it’s a movie with, uh, ice cube and that other guy who looks like rudy from fat albert
lois: no, i mean a week from this friday. do you know what it is?
peter: uh…donald rumsfeld takes his annual cr*p?
lois: no, i mean it is that too, but it’s something else
peter: um, rosh ha*sha*na*na? you know when all the jewish people get together and put on a variety show? hehehehehehehehe
lois: no, peter, it’s our anniversary!
peter: oh yeah?! oh, see? this is why i need a palm pilot
lois: you forgot again, didn’t you?
peter: maybe. oh, hey, uh, lois, you got somethin’ in your ear there. heh, what da, wuh * what is this?
lois: {gasps} peter, you got me a ring! oh, it’s beautiful
peter: eh, it’s nothin’. i mean they charged me up the assh0l* for it * i had to sell my richard marx record collection of my 7th heaven blooper reel where stephen collins says “jesus christ, i just stubbed my godd*mn toe.” boy, did the wb try to keep that one under wraps!
lois: oh…
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