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suicide attempt - fentanil lyrics

they want to cleanse the f*cking blood
running through my veins, poisoning me
my liver is as spoiled as me
i know what i’ve done and that’s okay
if you can’t save me from my h*ll
please, don’t save me from my death

it’s not a mistake, it’s a choice
it’s the urge that has helped me
but i’ve been preparing it for a long time
for years and years, in secret
if you can’t take me from my head
just let me leave my whole body

a few hours more would have been enough
i would have suffered, but now it would be over
they found me too early, too bad
a future corpse dying on the floor
i could have been free, but i’ll stay chained to life
like a dog to its leash, but pills could have set me free

now i’ll be ‘’saved’’, i have no choice
i try to resist, but i can’t move
they’re all around me, holding me against my will
‘’is she conscious?’’, ‘’how many pills?’’
‘’it could have been lethal, but she’ll be fine’’
no, i’ll never be fine, you dumb f*ck
now i’m lying on the bed with clean blood and burning veins
with the aftertaste in my mouth and my upset stomach
thinking i messed everything up
and tomorrow i’ll see the doctors and pretend
they can’t set me free from my mind
but they don’t want to let me leave

- fentanil lyrics

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