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suppression of feeling, final stage - fentanil lyrics

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i tried to k!ll myself that day
i tried to cut my wrists
i thought about skipping the train track
but she wouldn’t let me go to work
i thought i will recover from all this
but in truth i will never forget

as hard as i try, as much as i fight
part of me died that day
and i really wanted to put it all aside
and go back to who i was before everything
i wanted to have a simple life like everyone
but my memories of mine haunt me

i wished i died that day
i hoped all that cocaine would k!ll me
but she helped me, took mе to the doctor
that’s why i blame you fabulous lorde
you gavе birth to something horrible in me
that no one deserved to have known

i hate you lorde, and hope one day to k!ll you
and make you feel all my pain
i hate you lorde, and hope one day to k!ll you
and make your family suffer just like mine
i hate you lorde and hope one day to k!ll you
so that i can finally rest

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