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when does the light come in - fiona slattery lyrics

[verse 1]
i want god to envy me
’cause everything i feel
permeates straight into my bones
i want god to be jealous
’cause he must be heartless
for cursing me with such an ache
so hard to shake off

[pre*chorus 1]
if my cells were made
by the hands of time themselves
and not just in my mother’s womb
i hope he remembers me
when i torch the pearly gates
once my soul departs its tomb

[chorus]
all the lovе in the world
can’t make up for what i’ve lost
i wish it was diffеrent
but i’ve been smoked out
too many times
when all i wanted
was to bathe in the haze
from the people
idolized in my heart
[verse 2]
i want god to pity me
’cause he must have made a mistake
when i prayed with the nicene creed
i want god to blame himself
’cause he must be blind
to put such tumult
in the quilt of my life

[pre*chorus 2]
if i was made
by some man in the clouds
and not with my parents’ love
he must be twisted
beyond salvation

[chorus]
all the love in the world
can’t make up for what i’ve lost
i wish it was different
but i’ve been smoked out
too many times
when all i wanted
was to bathe in the haze
from the people
idolized in my heart
[bridge]
when does the light come in?
i’ve been told that’s what happens
when your world starts forming cracks
but i don’t believe it

- fiona slattery lyrics

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