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habits - fresh verse lyrics

[verse 1]
i don’t know how deep to go
but i’ma let it all out, so come peep the show
got my first xanny off my mate, i ain’t gonna say his name
it was fun at the start, i used to treat it like a game
this around the time when the nebulizer dropped
i was on all types of sh*t, but there’s one i couldn’t stop
and it played with my brain, but i focused on the music
i focused so much, didn’t realise i abused it
never had a plan to stop, not in that prediction
going through fame, couldn’t see i had addictions
one turned to two, turned to three, turned to four
then i need ’bout six a day, a little bit more
mixin’ it with lean, gotta stop people seein’
what the damages can be just by lookin’ at me, sh*t
what to do ’cause i feel like a fool
and i hate any rapper makin’ xannies look cool
sh*t was gettin’ bad, i was filled up with hateful
thoughts in my mind, i would argue with april
agreed i would stop, sh*t, i’ll give it a go
by the first f*ckin’ night, felt like slittin’ my throat
second night, my body shaking, the ambulance appear
and i’m thinkin’ in my mind, what the f*ck they doing here?
suddenly i’m caught up and there’s no time to muck round
lucky i got here, ’cause my body ’bout to shut down
[verse 2]
back to square one, nah, man, you can’t quit
you gotta wean yourself off, that’s some hard sh*t
what the f*ck, man? my brain is a mess
i can’t remember that much, feel the pain in my legs
i wish it was that easy, i could give up and go
and people still got the hide to tell me pick up my phone
maybe that’s my fault, i didn’t speak on it much
i didn’t see it as a problem, i would keep it from c*nts
rates could always tell when i couldn’t pr*nounce
certain words, brain dead, yeah, should i be proud?
anxiety was k!llin’ me, the doctors couldn’t deal with me
put me on a program, cut me down off the pills and weed
all scared, ’cause i feel on my own
i told ’em “let me chill”, now they think i’m dissin’ ’em, bro
waking up tired, i gotta take more pills
and i don’t even wanna take ’em, is this f*ckin’ for real?
losin’ touch with myself, it’s like reality’s false
it’s like i’m walkin’ around without havin’ a pulse
it’s a feelin’ of death, or like nothin’ is left
lose air, i’m holdin’ my chest, just put a hole in my head
you see, the older i get, it’s gettin’ scary as f*ck
i’m like an eighteen in the head, i weren’t aware of those drugs
the sh*t that they cause, i talk to mirrors on walls
i don’t need this sh*t ever, but to pills i will fall
i opened up on no rest, told c*nts everything
that i done ice, didn’t leave out anything
i quit that sh*t, yeah, i left it flat dead
that was five years ago, they still think i’m a crackhead
if that’s what we’re goin’ off, f*ck me dead
in five years, i’ll be clean, they’ll be calling me a xanny head
funny how the world works for a paycheque
once the fame hit, i became a train wreck
i wasn’t sh*t anyway, so why does it count?
why so many people love me? i can’t figure it out
but i’m tellin’ you now, don’t you follow my path
look, you couldn’t if you tried ’cause i’m goin’ in hard
f*ckin’ poppin’ a pill just to go out today
how’d i end up like this? i don’t know, it’s a way
well, i’m blamin’ the fame, yeah, i said it before
but it’s enough to make me high, feel like endin’ it all, but i
brush it off, got the fans on my side, too
and my girl and my brothers and the whole crew
spillin’ the truth, it’s like all i can do
that’s why i don’t have time for rappers that are saying they true
when they lied to their fans, apologise in the end
i never lied to mine, and this is why i’m the man
i tell you what i’m goin’ through, i don’t care what they think
that’s why i’m triple*popping pills, leaning over the sink
i’m almost f*ckin’ crying as i’m writin’ this sh*t
’cause of all my close ones and the lives i affect
i came from the bottom, i made it my problem
created the option, now fame has adopted
my brain, gotta stop it, insane, i am not this
strange, we got scott sick, i’ma watch a clock tick
just f*ck off, i said it, just f*ck off
if i won’t have my tablets, i’ll find a bridge to jump off
f*cking idiots, thinking that the sh*t is cool
till they dyin’ in the vomit of their own drool
what i meant to say? don’t do what i done
i’ve cut down on the program, yeah, i’ve won
repped it from the street, turned into a star then
caught a f*cking habit on the xanax but the bars went
crazy and i’m just dealin’ with fame
i just want my fans to know that i’ll still be the same
i’m good

- fresh verse lyrics

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