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dear ma - furzs lyrics

(verse 1: furzs)
dear ma i got so much to say i don’t know where to start this
life at the moment’s the hardest
breaking my heart for the way we departed
i know that you think that i’m heartless
the light that was in me’s so darkened
and you’re watching my life fall apart
drugs got the better i took the wrong path
and i wish i could go back and restart this
maybe we could go back where we last left
you just want your son back that you laughed with
always proud of me i don’t wanna ask ya
know that you’ve seen all the scars
i know that you’re scared i’m gonna leave in a cask
i know that you feel like you lost me that’s hard
and wish i could take all this back but i can’t yet
and hey ma yeah
wish i could tell you to wake up and this is a dream
wish i could tell you that i’m not a fiend
and that i’m doing good being a couple months clean
wish i could take away all that you’ve seen
take back them nights that you struggled to sleep
give you a hug and say mother it’s me
with a smile on your face and a kiss up on your cheek
hey ma sit with my brothers in peace
and have love for them both just like brothers should be
no waiting a couple more months till we speak
come to your place without days without sleep
nod off my face grind the t**th and not eat
argue and fight i just wanna set peace
my face without bruises my knuckles not bleed
my life back in order your mind back at ease
(interlude: furzs)
how the h*ll do i try doing well cause i don’t feel like myself
cause i won’t deal with myself and why
i know it seems selfish right
i’m alone up by myself tonight
i really need any help this time
i just feel so helpless
i’m really meaning how i felt this time
i really mean i hate myself tonight
i really want to take myself tonight
cause i don’t know nothing else to try

(verse 2: furzs)
i just feel so alone i feel like the loneliest soul when i roam
i lost my house and the sh*t that i own
you tell me come home i don’t feel like it’s home
i know that it’s rare that i answer my phone
i guess i don’t know how to tell you this though
since i came off tour i fell into coke
warned it’s addictive i’m like h*ll i won’t
got myself a ticket as to h*ll i go
and every day i’m getting closer to a h*ll i’ve known
smoking ice smoking everything i felt alone
everything was so good see the feeling grows
backstage racked lines then i steal the show
i felt like a rockstar now i feel i don’t
had it all then i lost it and yeah i’m broke
put a gun to my head and let me end it though
and mum no of course i’m ashamed
our families drifted that’s causing you pain
but they left me hanging i walk through the flames
they never come visit they just walk away
say it’s no effort of mine but hey i’m so torched by the pain guess it’s kinda the same
mum i needed them both and i hope each day to days turned to weeks and them calls never came
sitting point fingers and they’ll say i’m to blame
i can’t explain how i felt it was strange
i needed help so tell me where were they
i know that you know that i wouldn’t do the same
you’re my mum the woman that carried and birthed
i’m so embarrassed got dragged through the dirt
all of the shame and the pain that i caused you
i couldn’t imagine that pain cause it hurts
hey ma

- furzs lyrics

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