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spitting blood - furzs lyrics

(intro: furzs)
yeah that exact time in my life i was wishing i’d died
not many mornings that i wake up because i’m already high
i rack a line beaten down grab the pipe throw a drug at the sky
so certain that i would die
hurting inside and it’s hurts me inside

(verse 1: furzs)
yeah that exact time in my life where i was wishing i’d died
not many mornings that i woke up i was already high
i’d rack a line and grab the pipe and go look up at the sky
so certain that i would die sh*t i was hurting inside
and it hurts me that i would hide it, so from her i just lie
i watched the first one the other night with tears in my eyes
like i’d never heard her before i can’t be hearing this right
like i f*cking know that’s my face i wasn’t here with this guy
n0body’s worried i’m just like you couldn’t see that i’m fried
you couldn’t see the lack of sleep you still believe that i’m fine
just in that video alone you couldn’t see that i’m flying
i guess n0body ever knew me to believe that he is ryan
had the devil in my system suicide on my mind
no wonder my weight vanished in a blink of an eye
i’m talking seven days a week i would sleep every couple nights
i got drug induced psychosis i really heard sh*t outside
makes sense for the paranoia i’d sleep with a couple knives
of course thought i was tripping this happened like every night
i had new people around me they made me feel i’m alright
we’re getting high and we’re talking i couldn’t see at the time
it’s only because i shouted they never needed to buy
took my kindness for weakness and left me there when it dried
two years ago dominated i really just let it slide
like how i go from rack to crack i’m broken inside
i was running i got close and then i chose to do lines
overdosed and nearly died it never opened my mind
only nine weeks later take a guess if you like
yep happened again don’t know how i survived
on the floor found convulsing last thought on my mind
i took completely unresponsive was you done at this time
what’s my family gonna think i went and f*cked up their lives
and what’s my nephews gonna ask that’s what i’m leaving behind
the barrel’s got six shots it’s like i loaded with nine
this ain’t russian roulette praying now i know i’m not fine
i’m not ready to leave i don’t think you know what it’s like
i hope you never have to be here it’s a joke of a life
suicidal thoughts i pen down in these notes that i write
i always struggled how to cope with all my friends who would die
how selfish am i to try when it’s preventable right
they give anything for a life and they ain’t f*cking alive
you had me young and stupid out here puffing them pipes
yeah that really f*cks up my mind
i said i’m out here young and stupid trying to f*cking just die
yeah i’m really sorry this time
i hate i let my mom down and broke her heart it was selfish
dad really still worried and never gives up on helping
and then there is my ex she’s no longer my girlfriend
moved on to the next pretty much as my world ends
first on my real left, they never did much to help it
this time i’m telling the truth i lay it down as i felt it
come corrected cause i don’t want n0body to tell her what i’m projecting
just being who i was i’m not dwelling
i went on tour 86 kilo and never felt better
i came back lost my job bad habits and letters
all my bills are piling up i’m getting calls from collectors
i’m snorting b*lls i’m living reckless feeling more than respected
little did i know that most my f*cking friends would neglected it
30,000 for a car that’s now been passed i’d just left it
lost my house girl dog and all my f*cking possessions
p*ssed 120,000 off the wall like a dead sh*t
ended up in north shore 12 ward f*cking manic
went away i guess i really needed time to correct it
i’m hoping that in time i can finally mend it
i’m not afraid to face my fears and on my face won’t pretend it
part one became a f*cking premonition i dreamt it
everything i said was true by being clean i regret it
i thought it was bad then not a chance forget it
nearly 10k to get my dog back in the ending
he parted for five months and broke my heart every second
cause i never thought i’d ever get to see him again
and now i go to sleep beside him every night he’s my best friend
i’ll never leave his side again i really f*cking meant it
i’m so thankful to the people who stayed it’s tremendous
f*cking love you all to the death won’t forget this
now i’m finally clean come along for the ride man let’s get this
and they say that it comes in threes but i guess this one’s only the second
no longer do i feel numb if you do then forget it
yes man i meant it gotta be better than this

- furzs lyrics

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