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good queen wenceslas - goldstein lyrics

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good queen wenceslas looked out
on the feast of stephen
then she thought, “now, hang about

why’s this feast called ‘stephen’?”
surely there were other saints
they could name it after?
lucy, laura, abigail?
mary for that matter?”

then she thought, “and by the by
who will do the cooking?
muggins here, i hear you cry?
on your bike, keep looking.
a woman’s place should not be
stuck inside the kitchen
frankly it’s a fallacy
misogynist fiction

i’m a queen, and queening means
work twenty-four-seven
finding time for cooking seems
anything but heaven
it’s not always feminist
to throw out the apr-n
but there’s choice, and i choose this
stove emanc-p-tion.

fact is, ovaries do not
tie you to the oven
like queen wenceslas you’ve got
governments to govern
don’t feel bad you’ll never be
delia or nigella
roast instead patriarchy
give them salmonella.

so as christmas rolls around
we sing our conclusion
to cook festive feasts, we’ve found
it’s about inclusion
don’t leave mum to cook it all
and then set the table
share the work (and alcohol)
if you’re fit and able.

- goldstein lyrics

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