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crab cakes - gregory benjamin lyrics

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track 9
i don’t do deals with babysitters
all their terms and conditions are just threats

“i could just give this kid an ipad and lock’em
in a closet for 3 hours and no jury would
convict me”

i come home and my kid is passed out
on the floor drooling, from a nyquil and pepto*bismol
overdose

“what the h*ll happened!”

“that’s just how the cookies crumbled
now i need to get paid”

i mean if you are a nanny, well that is a whole
different cup of tea

if anything happens it’s the dad’s fault

when it’s the dad’s fault, it’s body parts in the mail

when it’s the moms fault, everybody comes togеther
and tries to find a reason why it’s thе dads fault
“how can we make this his fault, he he didn’t get a new
place, he just slept in someone’s office at a college
yea that’s it

okay girls get that duck tape, it’s time for this playboy
to check the mail!”

that’s when the real one pops a cherry out of her coochi and yells
“but like, wait a minute, he’s a really really great guy though”

good grief, i should have gotten a nanny

- gregory benjamin lyrics

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