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uncle herman chiropodist - groucho marx lyrics

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it was a very peculiar family. i had an uncle who was a
chiropodist. he would come to your house, and he had a
small suitcase, and he would cut your toenails for
twenty-five cents. then he got a job, ’cause there is not
much money in cutting toenails for twenty-five cents. and
it was cold, it was winter, so he got a job setting fire
to hotels in the catskills.

then he was so good at this, that they finally
transferred him, and they gave him a job in the
adirondacks, where they had much bigger hotels to burn
down. he finally wound up in sing-sing.

- groucho marx lyrics

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