death then hell - gurldoll lyrics
when i was fourteen, they gave me some pills
it didn’t help, kept cutting, still long sleeves
just moved, but they still knew, leave class
to cry in a bathroom
when i was fifteen, i was found so bl**dy
then she said she would k!ll me
said if i wanted to die, she’d take my life
so ashamed of me
death then h*ll
death then h*ll
death then h*ll
death then h*ll
death then h*ll
death then h*ll
death then h*ll
death then** [x2]
when i was sixteen, she wanted to k!ll me
on that day, she threatened me
she said she would throw me
she held me, throwing glass
while i was hiding
then seventeen, hospitalized
’cause i wanted to end my life
my senior year, i lived in fear
guess you could say they saved my life
eighteen, i started taking pills
but not the ones that they perscribe
i don’t remember much
but all i know is that it wasn’t right
the people that i was around
they didn’t care that i might die
they fed them to me, then they used me
then they took me on a drive
in the backseat of the car
found a dark place and then they parked
they took my clothes off, held me down
i couldn’t move, started to cry
i ran and ran, i told my friend
guess what? she said i wanted it
she took me home, i cried alone
began to question my whole life
death then h*ll
death then h*ll
death then h*ll
death then h*ll
death then h*ll
death then h*ll
death then h*ll
death then** [x2]
i’m twenty*three, not doing better
like i dreamed that i might be
a happy life, a happy home
i guess that’s not the life for me
i still have hope, a little faith
in feeling loved, in feeling safe
but there’s still demons in my brain
five medications, every day
wake up and instantly feel sick
constantly anxious, life’s a b*tch
my heart is aching, mind is racing
life or death, still don’t know which
death then h*ll
death then h*ll
death then h*ll
death then h*ll
death then h*ll
death then h*ll
death then h*ll
death then** [x2]
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