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medicinal melancholy [prod: boyfifty] - hermitle lyrics

how many times i gotta tell you i’m fine in order to feel that?
and i’m gonna ask that again sometime in this song but
feels like i’m empty, trapped in apathy’s grasp
emo is short for emotional but that’s something i ain’t
i see a girl in my dreams and i’m just tryna be her
but i got bad luck, like macbeth in a theatre

my sapphic shawty is psychosomatically sick
i’m so sick of your synthetic sympathy
and imma keep writing my poetic symphonies
drowning in shadows, haunted by memories
searching for peace in my own soliloquies
words hit the page and the beat, but they feel like they’re tricking me
tracing the lines of a dull, empty melody
trying to find my way to the rеal me

dozen shots down quick
two more pourеd one for me one for the devil
several bottles strewn across the floor i fell on
prolly be dead by the time i hit 23 so i’ll just cop another fifth of hennessy
sippin spirits talking to ghosts i cannot see
but i swear it’s really never enough
puff puff pass but just me myself and i
playing drinking games by myself while i’m crying late at night
but beer pong ain’t no fun when it’s just you and your mind, so i lay in bed at night counting sheep in my head wishing i were dead
sittin in the suicidal silence, h*ll is nonexistence, satan is around us
i lie in bed, wondering why i can’t cry
eyes dry, no tears, driving me crazy
silhouettes creep up in my eyesight
favourite time is when i’m all alone in the nighttime
i’m touch starved, self harmed, white scars, cold heart

my sound so far underground i’m just unknown
but i admit i am sh*t at this rhyme scheme scene
this is just an art to me not a job it’s a hobby
no different than a painting or poetry
its a remedy for my psyche and this self inflicted therapy involves a little bit of rhyming rapping and screaming that’s just this remedy’s recipe
don’t even sound like music to me

how many times i gotta tell you i’m fine in order to feel that?
the words just feel wrong on my tongue but
maybe someday, the word alright will feel right to say

- hermitle lyrics

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