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maintaining remorse - hitbox (hardcore) lyrics

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“i mean the war was fifty years ago.”
“in my mind, there’s a war still going on.”
“alright, what happened, frank? what is it that you can’t get over?”
“inchon, korea, 1950.”

so much these days i can’t process
familiar guilt bubbles up
i can’t get over myself
cannot make myself be enough

i should be glad that i’m at least there
but i’m so f*cking tired

grey matter replaced with bile
memories just feed it
trying to be better and
take a step forward
dull the edge, ignore, repeat
phoenix reborn in p*ss and
soaked in regret, atrophied

admiration feels insulting
because i think i’m not doing
anything that warrants looking
i just sit around all day and let the world around me spin
am i just a ghost? (disappear)
am i going down the same path i saw as a young icarus?
before my wings were devoured

every promise i make
feels more hollow than the last
i’m embarrassed by how i live
close to better, become sisyphus

react in anger again
feeling overwhelmed again
isn’t deserved
i should be collected but i’m unable to progress
unwilling to change my habits

- hitbox hardcore lyrics

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