christmas crush - home grown lyrics
had a crush on santa
since i was 9 years old
but oh santa
why do you go?
once a year you come visit me
eat my cookies, leave presents the same old routine
but now santa i want something more
no presents all that this girl’s askin’ for
santa sleep with me tonight
i read these words in her diary
an invasion of my girlfriend’s privacy
i shouldn’t have but i’m glad i did
wonder what does she see in him
a big old tub of jelly
with a double chin
he’s older than my grandmother
indeed this fetish is really bizarre
s-xual attraction for this holiday star
i gotta plan that you wouldn’t believe
but i’ve gotta act like it’s christmas eve
santa’s suit is what i will get
and give my girlfriend a night
that she’ll never forget
and neither will i
went through my closet and found a red robe
made a beard out of cotton
stuffed my shirt with pillows
and drove to my girl’s house
i slipped down the chimney and to my dismay
saw santa and my girl in red lingerie
and in between all the moans and groans
i heard her say oh santa, oh santa
she said santa i miss you, i love you
i wish you would stay home forever with me
santa i knew you were coming to town
but tonight you are coming in me
santa, get off of my girlfriend
get off of my girlfriend
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